9 Comments April 29, 2009 in Christian Life, Parenting, Teen Girls and Women

***Just a note to those of you who have internet filters: Due to the topic of discussion your filter may block this post. There is nothing untasteful in this post at all… I have tried my best to be tactful and precise in how I’ve worded things.

I was appalled at an article sent to me by a friend Monday morning. The article was printed in the Toronto Star this past weekend. What shocks me is how far this culture will go to promote sinful activity!

The article, which is an excerpt of the book written by Jessica Valenti entitled, The Purity Myth, states that the myth of sexual purity is damaging a whole generation of women. She also states in the same article that today’s young women are not capable of being taught about purity in their homes, schools and churches and then go home to highly sexual TV programs and other media. Her premise seems to be that because we can’t do anything about our hyper-sexualized society our daughters would do better to have our permission and blessing to ‘go wild’. Valenti seems to think that because our society no longer preaches what some want to practice we need to change our terminology and remove the idea of purity and virginity from our vernacular.

But we can’t. Those of us who have chosen to follow God our Creator cannot. It’s simply not possible.

Purity is part of who God is. He is holy. He is pure. Purity is not a myth and can, in fact, be measured. Ask any chemist… he or she will tell you purity actually exists. When you have severe allergies you become concerned with purity. People with a life threatening allergy to nuts will not settle for anything less than pure when it comes to their food source. Purity is not a myth.

Purity of body is also not a myth. Saving your first sexual experience for your wedding night would be equated with staying pure, remaining a virgin. Yet, in our culture it is becoming harder and harder to find women who have chosen to remain a virgin until the wedding. As a matter of fact, there are single women being mocked, pushed aside and harassed because of their virginity.

Shame on our culture! Shame on those who choose to bare their between-the-sheets-activities by poking and prodding at others who live with integrity and high moral character!

I recently heard of a young woman who received advice from a friend. She was told that she’d be able to get more dates, and guys would be more interested in her if she wasn’t such a prude.

I’d like to know something. Since when did it become someone else’s business what young girls do with their private parts!? First of all, why does anyone need to know? Secondly, with the way our society rants on and on about a woman’s right to make choices that affect her body… why persecute her if she makes a choice someone else is not happy about… especially if she chooses to remain a virgin?

So when pro-lifers stand up for their beliefs, trying to protect women from committing an act for which they have not received full disclosure, they are nailed to the cross for trying to take away a woman’s rights. But when a young woman decides that she’s going to save her virginity for her wedding night those same rights are held against her and she’s accused of belonging to a Purity Cult.

God clearly outlines in His Word that a physical relationship between one man and one woman are good and right and pure – but only within the confines of marriage. Anything other than that is not pure – whether that’s before marriage, or with anyone other than your spouse after marriage.

The author of the article argues that virginity itself does not exist. A few paragraphs later she explains how some women will have surgical procedures done to restore their physical anatomy so that they will again, technically, be virgins. It would stand to reason then, that if these women had not had sexual intercourse they would still, indeed, be virgins concluding that it does truly exist.

Although Purity Balls, Purity rings and other celebrations may not be as successful as many might think, I applaud those parents and young people who are willing to take a stand and at least talk about it. Far too many women go down the path of intimate relationships with members of the opposite sex for all the wrong reasons, when they are far too young to understand the lifetime consequences, and without truth-based information about what actually happens in her heart, mind and soul when she takes that step.

Moms, wives, friends, girls… taking a stand in our culture won’t make you popular. It won’t get you a date for Friday night. And if you become the talk of the town it will be because of what you are NOT doing with your body and your boyfriend.

Moms, your daughters need to know that it is a dog-eat-dog world out there regarding their purity. Your little girl needs to understand that she is valuable for who God made her to be whether she marries and has sex, remains celibate for the rest of her life or has made mistakes in this area. Her value is not dependant on her sex life. Her worth comes from God Himself. Her choice to remain pure is an act of worship to Him, and her virginity is a gift she offers the man she marries.

Purity is a sign of respect for God, yourself and your spouse. Choosing to remain a virgin until your wedding day may not be easy, but it is the best choice you can make. It’s also an act of obedience to God.

Purity is not a cult… it’s a woman’s choice.

Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not capable of staying pure! With Christ all things are possible… even in 2009!

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing.” Philippians 2:14-16, NIV

If you are a mom or grandma or mentor of a young girl you’ll want to check out Secret Keeper Girl. It’s a site and blog full of info you’ll want to talk to your girls about purity, modesty and what the media has to say about it.

Pure Freedom is another great site. This one has great resources for girls as well as teens – both guys and gals – and even the adults in their lives regarding purity. I’d encourage you to check them out! We’ve really enjoyed these resources as our kids have grown up.

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